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BRONZE place
Khrystyna K. Rides Again
I disobeyed my own rule of not watching Saturday Night Live this one day and got a heck of a what the F.U.H.(?) when during one of the segments I spotted what appeared to be the most beautiful woman in the world standing in the background among a bunch of regular-ass extras. And I am being extremely literal when I refer to her as The Most Beautiful Woman in the World, because she was awarded the title >>officially back in 2010.<<
So I'm sitting there doing three double takes and a quadruple take and rubbing my eyes like a cartoon character because of this woman standing in the back of an SNL skit who for sure looks like presumed-Russian model Khrystyna Kazakova, but what kind of wacky coincidence would that be? I became more convinced that she was who I thought she was when it was clear she was taller than all the other women, and most of the men, without heels.
She never had much of a presence online before, but I paused my comedy programming and searched her up and sure enough a shiny new >Instagram< account came back in the results, which confirmed that she was frequently in New York City and owned a pair of funky boots like the ones on the legs of the woman in this clip. Case closed, but not the case of why she's calling herself KhrystyAna now, as if Christina spelled with a K and two Y's wasn't already exotic enough.
Unfortunately she hasn't responded yet to my request for a date that I left in the comment section of a video she appeared in that got uploaded to YouTube. Now that she's gaining popularity I'm afraid my application will be lost in the shuffle, even though I was among the first in line.
Hopefully the channel owner will pass my message along to her soon.
[2018 update: Apparently she's now on America's Next Top Model. I feel in my heart this televised second coming of Khrystyna K. will heal the deep divide in the country and bring about lasting world peace. Mankind welcomes you.]
[update] 2020 IS SAVED! AMERICA IS SAVED! KHRYST HAS RETURNED!
still no reply...
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SILVER place
Pupinia
(American influencer)
I disobeyed my own rule of not clicking clickbait this one day to watch a "stupidity compilation" on YouTube and was pleased to stumble upon the mother daughter of all iconic ironic trolls absurdist humorists. She's been called comedy's apex predator and a female Andy Kaufman, so no presh.
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GOLD place
Skating Polly
(music band)
I decided a few days after discovering this dewo (now treeo) that I liked them enough to pay to see them, gave them a googling, and saw they'd been through my town of Phoenix (A.Z.) about a week before. My tantrum was legendary, but 6 months later in Dec. they came back and I was able to calm down and I got to see em with nineteen other geniuses of commendable taste. I still vividly recall my eyeballs vibrating from the bass in this song..
Funnily I could have discovered them earlier, because I remember I saw the name 2-3 years ago in a youtube comment, but when I looked them up I think I landed on the video for "A Little Late" and ceased my investigation. I liked it alright, but I didn't figure the band that made that song or that video could get up to anything mischievous even if they wanted to. Which was a mistake.
The songwriters are step-sisters Kelli and Peyton, 18 or so and 21 or so, who will put out their fifth album in 2018. (Bet it'll spank. Bet >everything<.) They have an infantry of veteran musicians endorsing them, and Kelli has been called a female Kurt Cobain, so no presh.**
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| Side note: Shirley Manson sure sounds like she was a hard-living 14 year old. |
**Update (2018):
Uh oh