I've
been exercising at home with a FreeMotion elliptical (with rear XTe drive!), a
big and heavy treadmilly piece of equipment that's
really really fun like wheeeeeee! for maybe the first 5 minutes of the
first time you ever get on it, and then you're winded and suddenly it's not so fun anymore because you've
realized it's just exercise masquerading as a good time and it's fucking
bullshit.
Recently
my grandma spied the machine and grew curious.
Grandma: Have you been on that thing, Marc?Me: Yeah, I was on it like five or eight months ago.Grandma: It looks heavy!Me: It's really heavy. I can pick it up, though. Over my head.Grandma (worried): Oh, mijo! Be careful...
Grandma
sometimes forgets that my arms are the size of tongue depressors. I'm
actually pretty surprised I haven't broken one (or both) of them yet. Probably
my aversion to contact sports is an inset survival mechanism designed to reduce
the chances of my breaking off something. Also probably I look a little wider to Grandma than I really am because
her eyes are unfocused, so the outlines of my face and body are blurred and I look like a heavier set gentleman. I cannot prove either of these theories.