Oh mon, it's becoming increasingly apparent that I've had Bob Marley mixed up in my head this whole time with Raffi. But at least I was incredulous, y'know? At least I was asking questions. Why do college kids worship Raffi? What's the obsession? Raffi's just a chill guy, I guessed. He would just grab his guitar and and jam around a garbage can fire on a beach somewhere in Jamaica and point to the special Raffian pattern on his hat to teach the primary colors.

This handsome piece jumped right off a guy's head and made a dash for it. This is what you get for trying to escape: hit by a car running across the highway and thrown to the shoulder. One bad thing about cars is, when they hit you, the pain can be horrific, all-consuming, paralyzing.

And when college kids break out "the plant" and get on it, they revert to their child selves and want to jam along: "Ha ha! Baby beluga!* Ha ha! Banana phone! What a magnetic character in whose presence I find myself!"

  

*"Perhaps a clever reference to Raffi's own band?" I thought 

And obviously "Don't Worry Be Happy" only confused me further; I can't be the only one who's variously attributed the song to both artists. The whole thing is so intentionally vague, the lyrics only a suggestion: You “might” want to sing it note for note, but if you can’t manage don’t sweat it. We’re not giving you a sobriety test here. We’re not the law.

_________________________________________________________________________________